Friday, January 15, 2010

Meaning of the kerchief

Many women who knit start a project to help them get through something that they are experiencing.  I knew that my recent pregnancy was not going to end happily.  I went to the emergency room expecting to get answers to why my pregnancy hormones were not rising properly.  I took with me my needles and some yarn and decided to start a kerchief.  A quick enough project to keep my mind off waiting for answers.  I started the kerchief in the ER.  I was half done by the time we got any answers.  The results were possibly an eptopic pregnancy, or a standard miscarriage.  Reguardless there was no way that this would develope to a full term pregnancy.  We decided to treat it as an ectopic and seek treatment for it.  I worked on the kerchief whenever i started to feel sad about my pregnancy.  I had my appointment today to see if the treatment was a success.  I have started to miscarry today and i finished up my kerchief except for weaving in the loose ends.  I feel that finishing the kercheif has helped in my ability to accept my loss.  I was pregnant but there was never a formation of a baby.  It has been hard on me but it has also made me appreciate my almost 3 year old even more.  I had a miscarriage before him and am thankful that Joseph is a happy, healthy and lovable child.  I feel someone has been watching over me even with the losses to make sure I have healthy children.  We will try again and hope we will be blessed with another healthy child.  But until we can try again I have my knitting to comfort the sad times and a crazy almost 3 year old to make me laugh when i cry.  

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